Moving to Australia meant a much bigger change for us than just the climate. So much about our lives has changed. Changes we were counting on in coming here, but I think for both us, changes we didn’t expect to impact us the way as much as they have. I can honestly say we are both happier and more content that we’ve ever been!
When we lived in Canada, we both worked full time…more than full time actually. We spent our time constantly trying to balance high pressure jobs with the day to day tasks, taking care of a 100+ year old house and four acres of land, and trying to enjoy ourselves a little bit too. In the midst of this chaos, we completely fell into traditional roles (even though I said I wouldn’t be that girl when we got married!).
In choosing to move to Australia, we had long discussions about making sure that this move would not only mean a new job for me, but a new approach to life all together. We decided that the only way it was worth doing was if we could manage with just me working. Not only did we not want the pressure and stress of Rob having to immediately land a job equivalent to what he had in Canada, but we wanted to take a breath and learn to embrace life a little more. This choice meant moving completely away from those traditional gender roles we were both used to, something that I think has been surprising to a lot of people. When we first moved here, anytime we met people in the community, they would always look immediately to Rob to ask if we came here because he was offered a job, and were genuinely surprised to find out we didn’t. Their look of surprise would intensify further when they realised he wasn’t even working at all. I will admit I found this a little insulting at first, but I’ve learned not to take it personally.
People ask all the time if Rob has a job yet, has he started looking, when does he plan to look etc. Honestly, I’m hoping never! Since arriving here, Rob has taken on all the day to day tasks, including cooking, all the house and yard work, and basically anything else that needs doing. When we first arrived, this meant getting up in the middle of the night to call companies and people in Canada to wrap up loose ends and figure out the basics around car insurance, getting a credit card, etc. I hit the ground running in my job and was given some extra responsibility within a few weeks of arriving, something that would have been completely overwhelming and stress inducing if I was also trying to sort out the complications in Canada and the essentials here in Australia. Instead, I was able to completely focus on what I needed to do at work, and trusted that Rob would work out all the rest. Such a relief! And Rob insists he is loving his new job as well (even the cooking!). Coffee in the pool every morning is a tough ask, but someone has to do it!
I will admit that this shift in roles was a really challenging one for me at first. I LOVED the idea of it, but I was so used to rushing in the door from work to start dinner, that it was hard for me to not be involved at all. I would ask Rob if he wanted help and he’d just send me outside to the deck to ‘relax’. Not easy at first, but something I’m completely embracing now. There’s something truly magical about being able to come home from work and actually unwind and decompress instead of jumping full-on into another ‘job’. I’m also feeling a little like I’m on some sort of prolonged vacation because instead of spending my weekends in the house doing food prep, cleaning, and laundry while Rob spent his taking care of the house and yard, we are spending time together, relaxing in the pool, exploring the many beaches around us, heading out on the motorcycle, or just relaxing on our deck and playing cards (with a drink or two of course!). So we’re both feeling more present and connected, to each other, but also just to life in general, and enjoying life more as a result!
